| We Converted You |
[Jul. 8th, 2005|10:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The enire Monkey Business Album | ] |
This is one of the better stories i can ever hope to post
So it was friday afternoon and im hanging out with steve just listening to music and relaxing, when we see through the window that some missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ and Later Day Saints ( read: mormons) are at the door. Normally a simple 'no thanks' would do, but i was in need of some debauchery and messing with people that try and change your views on existance with anoying visits to your home seemed like a fantastic idea.
With the thought of the mormon epsiode of south park in hand we opened the door and were greated by two twenty some odd guys in full on converting atire ( black slacks, white shirt, black tie). We learned that they had come as missionaries from Brazil. The one mans name was Eduardo de Bolivar and the other guys name was Javier Wagner. Their english was shotty at best. I felt bad for them because they had a kind of haze in their eyes from being rejected a lot.
While i legitimatly did want to mess with thier idiology and call out all sorts of shit, ( the primary one being that american indians came from israel and thier skin turned red becuase they lost their faith and decided to worship pagan gods) i decided to let them go, i had bigger plans. We legitimatly talked to them for like 20 minutes just because it was fun to listen to their english. The best part was when we were talking about the mormon stance on abortion and the guy was like " abortion is only OK if the child is concieved through power sex"
steve: " whats wrong with power sex"
Glaring look from Eduardo de Bolivar: " power sex is a no-no"
im cracking up while the mormons are freaking out. Steve talks to them for a while about the specifics of power sex before i pull the plug ( i could sense we were loosing them)
Me : I think power sex means rape
they have this puzzled look as it dawns on them that they made the mistake and suddenly they start laughing rediculously. It was one of those laughs that was way too drawn out for the content, so other people start laughing again because their laugh has started to become funny. They apologized and since i felt we had a nice repotier established i decided to pop the big question
" DO you guys .... wanna play ....laser tag.... with us"
it was like the greatest question ive ever asked
Eduardo de Bolivar took a step back and wasn't going to have it, but Javier was all over it. His eyes lit up like man in the desert stumbling across a water park. I ran to get the guns/vests. All of a sudden Javier starts pleading with Eduardo de Bolivar to play. They have a quite an arguement in portugese. At this moment i sorta take a reality check - i just asked 2 gung ho foriegn mormon missionaries to play laser tag and these 2 grown men are arguing in portugese over whether or not to play. After a while Eduardo gives up and lets Javier play. Im extatic.
We set this dude up and teach him how to work it, and we can tell - this guy is stoked.
So we start going, and javier aperantly didnt give a rats ass about his super clean missionary clothing. He was pulling barrel roles in the grass S.W.A.T. style. I cannot believe that this is happening. Maybe its because i havent played laser tag in like 3 or 4 years, but i dont think ive ever seen such agression. When i tried to snipe him, he would charge me. Dont get me wrong i was playing pretty serious too, i didnt wanna get owened at my own game by a mormon missionary. In the end he whooped our ass. Steve said it was because he had the bigger gun, but i think he just wanted it more.
2 thank you's and 2 free Mormon bibles later they were on there way, having promised to return for more laser tag. Steve and I still cannot get over what a crazy random experience that was was and i hope ""to Joseph Smith"" that they come back
and Javier Wagner and Eduardo de Bolivar,if you decide to come back for more, then i have a message for you - bring it! cause next time, your going down
* for those of you not enlightened in the ways of the Church of Later Day Saint, Joseph Smith is an american dude that god aperantly talked to, sorta like Moses. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2005|10:38 pm] |
Miss photogenic and 4 of the top 5 Miss Universe Contestants were from countries of spanish decent ( namely all south american countries except brazil).
This just goes on to prove, that like ive always said, spanish women are the worlds hottest.
Spain is rockin the house this year.
(although no more so than any other year) |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 22nd, 2005|12:28 pm] |
Maybe this is situational humor and whus was only halarious when it happened but here goes
So im at a small house party in UCB with maybe 10-15 people. This one pretty hot girl is all over this tricked out in bling bling wangster white guy. She is literally all over him. Just as they were about to leave to do something naughty, this guy rolls in that looks like p-diddy and the girl ditches the poser for him. The look on the poser's face was priceless. I woulda felt bad for him if he didnt look so stuiped and fake. We were informed later that even P. Diddy's success was short lived because after we left a third guy came that played Cal Football and P. Diddy got the boot.
on another note
If you ever read this ( you know who you are) i appoligize for calling your spanish girlfriend a fraud |
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| random blogs |
[May. 10th, 2005|10:03 pm] |
So i was watching the Daily Show today and they did a segment on how sophmoric and boring it is for network news shows to analyze recent blogs on TV. The CNN segment was the worst, they literally had people reading off blogs and focusing in a lot on the computer screens so the camera's could pick up the URL for the audience.
Later on i was read a TM thing saying bloggers can make 200,000- 500,000 a year ( read, Tucker Max and affiliates can make that much). On top of that being a top level blogger like that is like being a semi- celebrity, only better because millions of people rush home to read the quirky things you have in mind. i.e . http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=uscc_part1 I could so do that. Someone make me a website.
On top of that i realized the beauty of the "search- random" feature on Livejournal.com . Everyone's LJ is the same, but everyones is slightly different. Its like looking into some random far away persons life. I must have looked at about 100 random people's LJs for about 3 seconds a pop and from what i can see people in the US write about one of six things.Iposted them below. I have no idea what the russians, french and norwiegan people write about, someone translate and tell me, Id be interesting to compare to the US.
The six
Types of shallow attention seekers - I.E. bloggers
1. The number one thing people do is treat their Livejournal's like a myspace. This bugs the hell out of me. They post those stuiped quizes that tell them exactly what type of person you are. They fill out those lame surveys. If you need a quiz to tell you what type of person you are, you are a tool. Period.
2. The next thing people do is tell you verbatim what they did. This type of person updates everysingle day and bores me to death. Nothing is more boring than reading what people did on lamo average day.
Example- "i went to work on the TPS reports and fred called, nothing new. After work i went to the gym and instead of running i went swimming, imagine! me swimming!. I read in some health journal its better for you than running."
( that was a fictional compilation of the more boring things i saw)
3. The political blog. These people almost never update and always base their articles on links. One reason i think these are boring is because nobody cares what so and so thinks about Anne Coultiers article. If you are mad at Anne Coultier or Rush Limbargh and post a blog about it to vent your rage, your really not posting for anybody else but yourself. There are funnier 'professional' blogs hating on these people.
4. The im sad feel bad for me LJ. I found a couple of these. BORING
5. The feelings blog. No blog sucks more than this. This sounds shitty, but if you suck at writing, Writing about feeling is grade A tough shit to write. Almost nobody can pull this off and make it intesting to read.
6. The Jerry Seinfeld Blog. This people write about everything and nothing. These are the best 99.9999% of the time. I like to think i run that kind of blog.
* I must confess that i did post one quiz in my LJ. I will admit that for the short time i posted that, i was a tool. I appologize. |
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| Falling in to SB |
[May. 9th, 2005|09:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Happy and Sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | comfort eagle - cake | ] |
While not getting in to Berk at first was very devistating to me, there have been some recent events that have cheered me up.
The following is my shallow attempt at making SB look like a better place than berk
10. SB just got a 50 million dollar grant from the army to lead a UCSB,Caltech,MIT coalition for the institute of collaborative biotechnologies. http://www.icb.ucsb.edu/
the center is going to be located on the UCSB campus. Berk isnt leading 50 millions dollar coalitions with caltech ( according to a search on the berk.edu main page)
9. UCSB has had more nobel loriates than any other UC over the past ten years. One source hypothesized that that was because young teachers gain fame at SB then move to berk. That apperantly isnt true because all of SB's nobel loriates didnt leave SB and are old. A better reason is that SB is a nicer place to live than berk, and that - according to my sister- SB pays its professors more than any other UC.
8. The last 2 reasons were boring - People are hotter at SB. Period.
7. Following that I herd (from kids at berk) that playboy magazine rated Berk the Campus with the Ugliest people.
6. The Gym at SB is better ( and newer)than any of the 4 gyms on the berk campus - ive been to them all
5. SB only has one type of weather, and no hobos. Berkeley has many types of weather as well as many types of hobos. Theres a bunch of famous Hobos at berkeley. I would use that naked guy that runs around yelling communist propaganda as my signature cal hobo, but at berkeley this hobo description would not suffice, as there are multiple nudist communist hobos.
4. In some dorms, at Sb - you can - get this - see the freaking ocean. i dont know why that makes my giddy, as im pretty stoic about mushy stuff like the ocean, but wow you guys, its the OCEAN - i might be able to see it from my dorm
3. reason 3 does not exist ( even though i thought of a couple good ones) out of respect for berkeley being ranked the number 1 public school in the country, and SB ranking the 13th
2. Ill be at SB - this one is self explanatory
1. Hold on to your nuts ladies and gents cause this one is a clencher. IT is HUGE. Its the reason i wrote this LJ today, and it makes my cry in sorrow for the kids at berk
As of today- Bekeley's greek system is effectivly dry.
let me repeat that.
As of today, the fraternities and sororities at berkeley can no longer have parties with alchohol.
http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2005/05/09_alcoholban.shtml
I shed a tear for all you poor cal kids. |
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| OMG an UPDATE!!!!!!!! |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|11:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ying Yang twins - the wisper song | ] |
So I know i promised to post about this and that for a long time now. Ive also decided not to post most of the events that took place in Cancun because writing them down would diminish how awsome they are. If you ask and i have lots of time on my hands ill let you in on some of my awsome tales. These stories are ment to be told in person.
Ive decided to write just one ( fairly innocent) story to tide you guys over. Punal you can stop bugging me now.
So me and some kids i met from chicago go down to the club med nightclub as we would any given night. I spent the earlier part of the nite at the bar shooting the bull with various lawyers, accountants and other yuppie club med types while the chicago kids were in the salsa class. ( im spanish , salsa is in my blood, no matter how much the chicago girls begged i wasnt about to take a salsa class from a white guy). At the bar ( open bar) i had about 5-6 vodka redbulls and taken a couple of kamakazee shots with some people whom i didnt know but that acted like they were my best friends ( club med is like that). Needless to say in my more-than-buzzed redbull frenzy i was ready for some fun at the club.
At the far end of the club there were 5 of the hottest girls i had ever seen in my life. They were all South American/ Cuban / jessica alba looka likes. Creamy dark skin and eyes that pierced into your soul. They were Corona Models in the club to hand out free beer and make people associate Corona with gorgious women. There must have been fifty guys over there striking out left and right. " Tommy get over there and ask them to dance" i dictated to one of the chicago kids ( im an asshole ) "no you go" . wow what pansies- i was gonna show every failure of a man at club med how its done. I walked over to probably the most gorgious woman i had ever seen and pulled this line in perfect spanish " eres las mas preciousa mujer que me ha visto en mi vida". ( the following conversation takes place in spanish) 'Hay gracias ! sepas espaniol, eres de mejico? ( she asked me if i was mexican, not the responce im looking for after sincerly telling her she was the most gorgious woman ive ever see) " no soy de espania "
" haya, mi familia biene de cuba" ( shes cuban )
" de verdad? nunca me ha hido a cuba quiero irme" ( i lied about wanting to visit cuba )
" es preciosa , mucho mejor de esta cajo de mierda cancun" ( she hates cancun- she says the word cacun in the hottest, yet funniest voice ive ever herd - cAAnQUUUn
i procceed to make fun of the way she says cancun and ask her why she hates it- she was surprisingly open about hating her job as a corona model because the pay sucks and its like a third tier modeling job and apperanly the clubs get old- nobody around her cares that she is bashing her job
So finally i ask her to dance expecting to get shot down like everyone else , but surprisingly she says yes ( i must be more innocent than the sleazy 30 year olds)
As i walk away from the corona booth with her the chicago kids, the guys that are striking out with the other corona girls, and the lawyers etc i was drinking with at the bar give me this look of reverence as if i were Tucker Max or something
As if this story cant get any better after dancing with this girl for a while the other corona girls ( all 4 others) leave their booth and all start dancing with me at once. To top it off this guy with an expensive video camera and corona T-shirt starts filming them dancing with me. Re- Cap : 5 of the hottest girls ive ever seen are dancing with me and like tugging at my cloths showboating for camera. All i can think of at that moment is how awome it would be if i they used that footage in a Corona commercial or a Corona 'girls gone wild' video or something. It was like a vertical lapdance with 5 women. On Camera.Wow. Words fail me. After a while they were dancing with themselves more than me- I had been used- How awsome.
I walked back to the in-club bar to the applaud all sorts of people i did't know and somewere in the corner of the bar i spoted my parents - how embarrassing.
The aftermath of the story is that i got a bunch of free shit from the corona booth after talking to them again ( some stuff they only gave to me, like the Corona hat). For the next couple of days i had more random bar buddies than normal as people recognized me as 'that guy from the club'.
On the Cancun "Awsome stuff that happpned to me scale" this story ranks about a 5 out of 10
Thats how i roll |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|11:48 pm] |
it could be worse, but all im gonna say is that the only 'good' ( and by good i mean if you would have told me it was good my sophmore year i would have laughed at you) UC ive gotten into so far ( im 66% on the UC scene) maskots name is the anteater. let me repeat that - irvines maskot is the fucking anteater. wow. You would think that they would recognize the absolute lack of fear or respect that that animal entails but nooooooo.I can just see the football slogan "the anteaters - we'll suck you up". wow thats right up there with the minisota nimrods, but at least the nimrod isnt a real creature so you can pretend it is scary/has repect. It ties with the UCSC mascot-"the aging hippy" as quite possibly the worst mascot ever. |
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| boycott myspace |
[Mar. 6th, 2005|02:34 pm] |
The plan was that myspace would be a horrendous waste of time because in a few months id get Facebook and never have to worry about shitty ass myspace. That plan seams to be backfiring because i bet nobody switches to Facebook when they go to college. I made a myspace a while back -
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/15790567
I dont know how people found it but they did and i turned down every friend request as a matter of principal.
Im thinking that i might take down "Boycotting myspace" and make a real one. if i would have told myself that about a month ago i woulda slaped myself, but now i just dont know. Im torn |
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| oscars |
[Feb. 27th, 2005|08:45 pm] |
I have only one true talent and that is picking who is gonna win the oscars. It doesnt matter whether i have seen the movies or not, i can just tell by looking into the eyes of the presenter rite before they announce who the winner is gonna be. I did pretty good this year ( especially the last 3/4ths of the show) at about 80%. I would also like to point out that the women in the backround that bring out the oscars are - without question - the hottest people on earth. Think about it- hundreds of thousands of america's hottest people go to hollywood every year trying to be the next jessica alba. 99.999% of them have absolutly no talent either go into porn, daytime TV , or battle it out for one of the 5 oscar lady spots. About 2 of the 5 oscar ladies arent so hot (relativly) and are just chosen because they are striking looking ( they look like if lightning were sexy lady carring an oscar). but the other 3 - wow just wow.
On another note i would just like to mention if this were 7th grade i would be giving out the "JP awards" this week. maby ill through something together if i feel like it
who knows YOU might just win |
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| circle breathing |
[Feb. 25th, 2005|03:35 pm] |
being able to breath in through your nose and out through your mouth at the same time is like the greatest skill ever. In homage to that skill i have decided to post a lesson on the subject from the website of some aussie digerido school.
STAGE 7 - CIRCULAR BREATHING (1)
7.1 Okay, what we will do now, we will move to stage 3 of our didgeridoo lesson which is circular breathing.
7.2 There is a lot of myths in relation to circular breathing. Circular breathing is a very simple technique. I will hope to show you circular breathing in three different stages.
7.3 The first stage of circular breathing is that we need to trap air and where we trap air is in our cheeks. Once the air is trapped in our cheeks, we must release that air gradually. We must regulate the amount of air that is being released through our lips.
7.4 Whilst we are doing that, we then breathe through our nose to put air back into our lungs and then push the air from our lungs back into our cheeks to continue playing didgeridoo, that is the concept of circular breathing.
7.5 Whilst I am talking to you, I cannot breathe through my nose. It is a physical impossibility for me to breathe through my nose. I must stop talking to breathe through my nose because I am expending too much air. Okay, the first stage of the exercise is to trap air in your cheeks and blow as much air in your cheeks without releasing any air so that your cheeks resembles a balloon. Very good.
7.6 Once you have done that take five deep breaths of air through your nose. Whilst you are taking these breaths through your nose, you should not be feeling uneasy, hyperventilating because you are breathing through your nose, the only thing that you are doing differently is that you have a mouth full of air.
Very good.
7.7 If you can have air in your cheeks and breathe through your nose, congratulations you have passed the first stage of circular breathing.
STAGE 8 - CIRCULAR BREATHING (2)
8.1 The second stage of circular breathing is releasing that air that you have trapped in your cheeks. Now remember, the air that is in your cheeks needs to be passed through your lips, but it needs to be regulated so that it doesn't come out too fast.
8.2 If you can picture a balloon, you've blown the balloon up, that balloon represents your cheeks, the mouthpiece of the balloon, if you were to get your fingers and hold a mouthpiece of the balloon and regulate the amount of air that comes out of the balloon, that is what you have to do with your lips.
8.3 Your lips are the mouthpiece of the balloon. You must release that air that is in your cheeks out through your lips. Remember you are releasing the air that is in your cheeks, not the air that's from your lungs.
8.4 You are hopefully going to release air through your cheeks, out your lips, and breathe in air through your nose to replenish the air that is in your lungs, so we should hear a sound similar to this.
8.5 I will now fill my cheeks up with air, breathe through my nose and release some air out of my cheeks, like so.
real audio
circular breath
8.6 If you can do that, congratulations, you have passed stage 2 of circular breathing.
STAGE 9 CIRCULAR BREATHING (3)
9.1 Stage 3 of circular breathing is to combine both of those stages, stage 1 of putting air into your cheeks and breathing quite comfortably through your nose, stage 2 is the release of that air by using the force of your cheeks, pushing the air through your lips which are regulating the amount of air that is coming out. Stage 3 is the combination of those two stages.
9.2 I will talk you through the stages of circular breathing for stage 3. Okay, we fill our mouth up with air, we breathe through our nose 1, 2, on the third breath, start to release a bit of air out of your cheeks, the moment that you do that you are circular breathing, 4 and 5, you should be circular breathing.
9.4 Now remember that sound of pushing air out through your lips and regulating that air is not the didgeridoo sound. The didgeridoo sound is this.
9.5 Passing air through your lips creating a vibration. The intense sound that you get through regulating the air through your cheeks, through your lips is not the didgeridoo sound, but it is the technique for circular breathing. Okay, now we will attempt circular breathing on the didgeridoo. I am going to fast track you through three stages of getting a constant didgeridoo sound. The first stage, I will get the didgeridoo sound, which is this.
real audio
didgeridoo
9.6 I will stop, fill my cheeks up with air, take two deep breaths through my nose, then let some sound out of my lips.
9.7 Whilst breathing through my nose. The second stage is I will not stop to release any air, now remember I am not concentrating on getting the didgeridoo sound constant. I am only concentrating on getting a sound through the didgeridoo.
9.8 The second stage is that I will make a didgeridoo sound.
9.9 And when I come to circular breathe, I will make this sound.
And I will go back to making the didge sound.
9.10 On the third stage I will go from making the didge sound.
9.11 To the circular breathing sound.
9.12 Somewhere in between those two sounds is the meaning of circular breathing, so you need to train your lips and your cheeks to be able to trap air.
9.13 If you make the didgeridoo sound which is this.
9.14 You are expending too much air and if you make the circular breathing sound like this, that is not the didgeridoo sound, so we need to make a sound something like this.
9.15 So now I will demonstrate to you the three stages of circular breathing. |
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| The most amazing experience of my life |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|02:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
words fail to describe even the most redamentry feelings one attains while hurling himself towards the earth at 225mph. I think that Lindburgh said it best -
---A day or two later, when I decided that I too must pass through the experience of a parachute jump, life rose to a higher level, to a sort of exhilarated calmness. The thought of crawling out onto the struts and wires hundreds of feet above the earth, and then giving up even that tenuous hold of safety and of substance, left me a feeling of anticipation mixed with dread, of confidence restrained by caution, of courage salted through with fear. How tightly should one hold onto life? How loosely give it rein? What gain was there for such a risk? I would have to pay in money for hurling my body into space. There would be no crowd to watch and applaud my landing. Nor was there any scientific objective to be gained. No, there was deeper reason for wanting to jump, a desire I could not explain.
It was that quality that led me into aviation in the first place -- it was a love of the air and sky and flying, the lure of adventure, the appreciation of beauty. It lay beyond the descriptive words of man -- where immortality is touched through danger, where life meets death on equal plane; where man is more than man, and existence both supreme and valueless at the same instant.
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I arrived at the DZ around 10:20. I had gone to bed early the night before and done my rain dance for the gods of weather. My friends steve and my parents were pessimists - the weather was overcast and there has a high chance of rain- no matter i was going to go skydiving there was no doubt in my mind that the weather would fail me. Byron Califronia is a small town near the delta that almost exclusively only holds farm land and windmills. My first though seeing the DZ ( drop zone) was one of shock. The dingy building at the side of the airport was hardly one that assured the upmost standards of safty would be upheld. I was greated by a fat old bulldog as i approched the building. The dog had a stoic look in his face and it didnt scare him a bit when i ravishly started petting him asking "ARE YOU EXCITED BUDDY!!!??. Fast forward passed signing my life away on a couple of scary forms and an informational video narrated by a man who's beard rivald that of an average long haired girl. The group that went before us had just landed and were screaming with excitment. From the ground you could barely see the plane let alone the people leaving it. The hotshot who went in that group was literally forcing his chute to do flips as he went down, it was awsome. It was decided ( since there was only 2 tandem instructors ) that i would go on "rig 1" while steven and kelly would go on "rig 2". My tandem partner was a portly yet jolly lady named Carrie. While not as harsh as the other tandem instructor she seemed less experienced.After some basic training I suited up and borded the tired out cesna that was to take me to 14,000 feet. The plane itself was the worst part. From my seat ( and i say seat loosly because there were no seats only a rug) i could see daylight through a crack in the metal of the plane. The ride up was longer than i expected and the ground much much farther away then i anticipated it being. Weather only permited us to go 9,000 feet but that was enough. It occured to me that when you go on a ride at an amusment park everything is stricktly controlled, mother nature has nothing to do with your fate. Skydiving is different. While skydiving you tempt fate to outdo gravity itself. Nothing about skydiving is controlled. Nothing prepares you for that open door. While peering over the side with one foot outside the plane you start to ask yourself " what the hell am i doing ". It was the only time i was nervous the entire time. Buildings were specs at that altitude. Then suddenly Carrie had pushed us out. I was freefalling at 9,000 feet. The plane became smaller and smaller. Words fail me. It isnt like a ride were you get that pit in your stomach- its like floating. It puts your very life into perspective. Everything else just fades away. After less than a minute of freefall Carrie pulled the cord. The chute deployed fine pulling me out of the relm of gravity's control and back to safty. The ride down is not nearly exilerating as the freefall itself but it is amazing none the less. We flew down -through- clouds, i breathed them in. Wow just wow. The ride back down seems to take forever but wow. The views were amazing. Its nothing like being in a plane and flying over everything. Carrie did a couple a parachute tricks before we landed ( which were awsome). Landing was easy ( Carrie turned out to be a pro). As soon as i was released from Carrie i ran towards the DZ building. The crowd that had amassed there informed me that they could hear me yelling in excitment the entire way down. I must have takcled 4 people in my excitement. I kissed the ground
This high is gonna last all week
On a sadder note it started raining after i went. Steven and Kelly could not go. I feel bad for them, so im gonna try and scrounge up 170 and go again next week.
Best 170 dollars ever
Words truely fail to describe the experince |
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| energize |
[Feb. 16th, 2005|07:06 am] |
after extensve research ive discovered the most energizing thing on the planet is onion rings. The average calories per gram of food ratio in onion rings is 4.2. That is unheard of, in comparison the most energizing burger in existence, the ultimate cheeseburger at jackin the box ( the western bacon 6 dollar burger is more energizing but wieghs more) only has a calories per gram of food ration of 3.0. That is why its my sincerest advise that if you are stuck on a dessert island and you can only bring a pound of food, make that food onion rings. Feel free to replace 'energizing' with 'fattening' anywere in my article.
update feb-16
krispy kreme donuts most energizing donut is its regular glazed donut ( on a calories per gram ) at 3.8
Dunkin Donuts most energizing (regluar glazed) donut fails to compare at a measly 3.6
Hostess twinkies also come in at 3.8
Hostess ho-ho's come close at 4.0
according to calorieking.com there exists something called a deep fried twinkie that comes in at a whoping 5.0. since this item is unavailable to the public (unless you wanna deep fry a twinkie without somehow allowing the oils to melt it) standard onion rings still riegns king of energizing food http://www.calorieking.com/foods/food.php?amount=1&unit=67437&=Rescale&category_id=37124&brand_id=465&food_id=93157&partner=
in my google searches to bring you this information i discovered something pretty intesting
www.twinkiesproject.com |
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| JSA and the Pot of Gumbo |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|09:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Guns and Roses/lenny kravitz/JZ mix (ill send you the song | ] |
Ok so this weekend i went to the JSA convention in sacramento. I like JSA because A) i get to see my friends from the summer B)i get to argue and debate C) i get to go to cool places like the capital and see good guest speakers like Angle Raich and the deputy attourney general to John Ashcroft ( i forgot his name). Yes there are uber anoying people there and yes some of them bug me ( on both sides of the isle - theres this one girl who is so pro life for her speach she handed out plastic baby fetuses, she asked me my name once and i said it was JP , to which she replied that her favorite brothers name was JP- i proceded to ask her how many brothers she had to which she replied 8. Her parents obviously could have used birth control and abortion).This kid named tommy ( the Moderate party chair ) said he liked my voice (i hate my voice) and i should run for speaker of the house. I easily won the moderate part chair caucus. The moderate party had made a deal with the conservative party that they would all vote for for the moderate party candidate for speaker of the house if all the moderates voted for the conservative senate chair candidate. It looked like i was a shoe in for speaker of the house which was kinda wierd cause kids plan and practice months for their speaches and i decided on a whim to run. Anyway i improvized a speach in front of the entire JSA delagation ( over 800 kids ). There are 4 parties, the radicals, the liberals, the moderates and the conservatives. To win you had to get the most people to go to your corner of the room. At first i had a litle over 300 kids while the radicals had like 200 and then the liberals had a little under 300. The 300 kids that were trying to elect me erupted into a chorus of J.P. ! J.P! J.P.! which is like the biggest ego booster ever( conservatives arent pussies they were outnumbered but nearly twice as louds as the other 2 groups ). Once the libs and the radicals realized that not even one person was supporting the conservative candidate they countered our trick and swarmed over to the liberal candidate and he overtook me and won ( those bastards ). The dance was fun and i barely knew anybody so that made it somewhat more fun cuase i could kinda let loose. People that i met at the november convention rembered me ( i felt bad i had no clue who they were) and i chilled with them. On sunday night i had to cook something that i had promised to be " wicked awsome " for the WTP gathering. I figured id make gumbo because it was near Marty Gras. An internet search informed me however that gumbo takes like 4 hours to make. So i did the next best thing - i ran to whole foods and bought their almost gumbo (scalopini soup). I poured the like $30 worth of soup into a large glass pot to give the impression that i made it ( if they didnt ask i wasnt gonna flaunt the fact that i cheeted and bought it). God however was wise to my plan and while i was climbing the hill to Justins house ( the highest house in pleasanton- so high that my ears literally pop when i come back down) the incline made the "gumbo" spill everwere. I cleaned it up but my car still smells like new england. To top it off nobody ate my "gumbo" so i want gonna risk bringing it down the hill again. When i got home my mom flipped a bitch that i dint bring home the pot
which was as i quote her was "my only pot" , "My favorite pot" , " that pot cost 230 dollars", " you are not going skydiving unless i get my pot right now!", "GAAARRRRY tell the boy to go get my pot", " I cant cook anything without that pot". As i write this she is still yelling at me about that damned pot. What a Wild Weekend it was |
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| what is done is done |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|06:44 pm] |
Its been made apparent to me that my last update created some unneeded animosity. While normally i am all for animosity and rivalry, the competition is over. What happened happened and that is never gonna change. Im not going to delete any old posts or comments but i am going to formally appoligize to amador WTP and you specifically if you were in anyway offened. I will not sorry the name of FHS by post facto bragging and assumptions based on educated guesses.
Stay classy FHS |
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| everything |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|06:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the rest of things - xibit | ] |
There are 3 things that need to be talked about. The first and formost is the 'We The People' Competition.
Sacramento was fun and finding out we made finals was fun and kissing ass to judges by wearing cancer armbands was fun too. However getting third, loosing to amador, and then seeing Irvington take home the first place trophy was a shock. Way back at our district competition Amador, Irvington, and us competed. We basically tied amador and whalloped Irvington. I think i recall myself saying something along the lines of "Its good that Irvington scored well on one section, that keeps their confidence up and shows them that if they practice real hard, they can still loose by like half our score" ill be the first to say that i fell like a dumbass. Irvington i give you props, at least amador didnt win. Although Amador beat us, this is a step down for amador and a step up for us ( amador represented california last year and we didnt even make finals). Also i think our scores were better than amadors in the Pre- Finals event ( based on the order the schools who made finals was announced -irvington-foothill-amador-archadia).
The second thing i wanna talk about is the crazy ass haircut i just got. The last couple of summers i had highlighted hair. I liked it and figured id try that now. I trusted this old spanish guy that used to cut my mom's hair ( as a rule i trust spanish people, beause being spanish, i naturally assume they think more like me ) Anyway the hair cut is crazy looking. Think ricky martin on a bad day mixed with that guy from that catroon (i think its dragon ball Z but i could be wrong). Im kinda afraid to walk on the street and go to places were there are other people because it is so different looking. Im gonna start a poll to see if i should shave my head.
The third thing is that I got the Mrs Reese Freshman letter back. ( i wrote a letter freshman year and the idea is i get it my senior year) -more on that later |
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| not again |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|08:49 pm] |
so about 5 min after i update the last entry UPenn calls me - while im in the bathroom
Me: mom im in the bathroom on the toilet tell her ill call her back
Mom: (with the phone in her hand) - She doesnt care that your in the bathroom
me: mom seriously i would be grossed out to talk to someone while taking a dump no less someone who is going to interview me for Upenn
Mom : NOBODY CARES THAT YOU ARE HACIENDO CA CA
she barges in and hands me the phone
you can totally tell that the lady heard the entire conversation and is totally grossed out
Why god why?
thank god Cal will email me about interviews |
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